To Get Out of a Rut, Do This
We've all had those days (or weeks, months, decades) that seem to be totally mired in shit. We've all been through those times of sitting cross-armed in a bar surrounding by perfectly lovely acquaintances, pursing our lips wondering when we can finally just go to bed. We've all freaked the FUCK out over a trivial mistake that wound up having zero consequences, shoved the memory away in a corner of our minds, and shuttered in horror when it popped into view just as we were nodding off to sleep.
As cringy as might be to to revisit and analyze these moments, let's do just that for a quick sec. Trust me, it's for the sake of #growth, people. After all, it's times like these – when we are so far from behaving like the best versions of ourselves – that offer us the most opportunity for growth. So, get comfy in your office chair and reflect. Was there something specific you can recall that triggered your moment of lunacy? If yes, assess that ish, take the Oprah approach of practicing a lil' inner work for better decision making, and move on. If you answered no though, let's talk about turning a new goddamn leaf.
Let's have a chit chat about those days when you can't figure out what is pissing you off, about those spans of time that seem to go by without a positive thought in sight. Actually, let's not chit chat and take make some moves to get you out of your rut. And let's begin with just a pen, paper, and three easy steps:
- MAKE A LIST...of the basic domains of your life.
Definitely start with Health, Career, Community, Family, Recreation, Relationships, Spirituality, and Creativity. Then, add on anything else specific that might apply to you. Ex: Parenting, Mentorship, Romance, Adventure, etc. Literally anything that's been on your mind or that you consider to be crucial to living well.
2. ASSES SAID LIST...using your intuition.
Go through it quickly and jot down a percentage that represents how fulfilled you feel in each listed domain. Don't overthink it, your heart knows what's true.
3. MAKE GOALS...for the domains with the lowest percentages.
By starting with the areas we need the most help in, we get the most bang for our buck. It's like the SAT: if you're shit at reading comp and bomb at math (like literally no people I know), brushing up your English Lit skills is going to do WONDERS for your composite score. This is how you master the university of life, folks.
We're not talking New Year's Resolution type goals either, fam. We're talking real actionable goals. Ex: Instead of "Get more fit by 2017," write down "Run 3x/week" or "Limit myself to one dessert per/week." Instead of "Find love," write down "Go on one date every two weeks" or, better yet, "Reach out to cutie from house party last Saturday night." This way, you can hold yourself accountable and, if you don't meet said goal, you can easily assess what went wrong. Remember, you can always rework a goal if it turned out to be too lofty, but the important thing is to stay honest and on top of your progress.
There you have it! Three easy step towards a less shitty week/month/year. Of course there's all the stuff that comes with maintaining these goals, but you'll find that even initiating that change with this exercise is a major step towards liberation from your rut. Give yourself attention for the 15 minutes this will take – you deserve it.
- Lenea Sims