3 Ways to Find Your Fabulous on the Internet
If there's one thing I've learned in this journey it's that it's damn near impossible to define self-care on your terms if you don't have the faintest clue who you are. Without knowing your strengths, weaknesses, tendencies, predilections, etc., how can you possibly know what self-care practices will suit you? The last thing you want, after all, is to decide self-care means carving out more time with friends when you're actually as introverted as they come and could really use more alone time to recharge, etc. etc. Crafting a self-care practice without getting to know yourself first is the mental equivalent of deciding to tune up your vehicle without knowing whether you drive a motorcycle or a car... AKA completely nonsensical because you gotta know yourself to heal yourself, babiesss.
So, without further ado, here are the resources I find myself recommending over and over again with the sole purpose of enhancing knowledge of self. If you think you don't have time or that they won't be worth it, worry not because I've waded through all the really bad/long/tedious ones so you wouldn't have to. Now hop to it, chickens!
- Natal Chart Report: For those of you that aren't familiar, a natal chart (or birth chart) is an in-depth look at your astrological signs. Because, yes you have more than one (!!!) and all you need to access them all is some basic info about your birth i.e. the day, time, and place. Then, this handy calculator will spit out a WEALTH of accurate knowledge about you that's sure to stun even the most steadfast astrological skeptic. Seriously you guys, no one I have recommended this to has walked away unimpressed. Now I'm gonna be honest here, lads... I don't know what a good 75% of the ish in the chart itself means BUT read on anyway and pay special attention to your Sun sign, Ascendant sign, and your Moon sign. Your Sun sign is the one you probably already know and reflects your basic personality. Meanwhile, your Ascendant (or Rising) is characteristic of how others view you as well as how you view the world AND if you read about it in addition to your Sun sign in your horoscope, it will tell you about your immediate future. Lastly, your Moon sign will give you an in-depth look at how you react emotionally to situations and reading about this sign in your horoscope will help to illuminate what's happening in your inner world and home life. Ugh can't get over how helpful this tool is, y'all!
- 16 Personalities Personality Test: This personality test is based on the famed Myers-Briggs Type Indicator quiz but is a helluva lot shorter, free, and – at least in my own experience – gets to the same result. After just 10 minutes, you'll be presented with a wealth of information about your strengths and weaknesses, tendencies in romantic relationships and friendships, your characteristics as a parent, suitable career paths, and workplace habits. Obviously you can take these results with a hearty grain of salt, but I personally find this test freakishly accurate and super enlightening especially in the strengths and weaknesses and relationship departments (I'm an ENTP-A if y'all tryna judge me ;)). Bonus points, it's short AF so you can make all of your friends do it and find out more deets about them too! ALSO I'd recommend googling your result and seeing what other sites (like this one) have to say about your personality type just to enhance the wealth of information.
- Love Languages by Gary Chapman: This quiz is an extension of Gary Chapman's book The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate which has been on the New York Times' bestsellers list for 7 years. So you know this ish is good. The quiz will set you back about five minutes, you can do it on your phone, and, at the end, you'll know exactly which of the five types of love suits you. Because that's just what this is about: getting to know how and when you feel most loved and how to convey that to others. Whether it's your partner, your friends, or even your parents, teaching people how to treat you is vital for your own happiness and self-care. You wouldn't want to write off your parents' love because they've been expressing it through gifts when your love language is actually Physical Touch and all you really needed for Christmas was a hug goddamnit. And you don't want to be frustrated that your partner gives you endless compliments but not enough of his undivided attention because you're totally a Quality Time type of girl, right?! While the notion that everyone innately knows how to love us is really romantic and nice to pine after, that idea is idealistic AF and it's time to take charge of your relationships and start getting the kind of love that makes you feel alive. This is a great first step.
And there you have it! Three simple resources for getting to know yourself a little bit better. I recommend taking some notes along with this exercise 1) for your reference later and 2) because #selfcareisstudy y'all! It's also important to note, of course, that you should take these all with a grain of salt and only take in what intuitively feels right to you. No need getting downtrodden over a "fact" from your birth chart that doesn't reflect your true nature, after all. Last, but certainly not least, I'd like to remind you that this should be a really positive exercise that shows you just how special you are. Corny as it may be, really think about how one-of-a-kind you truly are as probably the only person around with this combination of traits working to your advantage. You're a special snowflake, I love you, and have a magical time learning about all the sides of yourself.
xo, Lenea Sims
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